The Best Superhero Movie Ever

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This originally appeared over at Splice Today.
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So what’s the best superhero movie of all time? Perhaps you love Dark Knight because Heath Ledger is dead now and Morgan Freeman taught us about the dangers of surveillance technology. Or you may love Spider-Man because it drips with pathos and daddy issues. Or maybe you like Robert Downey, Jr.’s charm in Iron Man, or, if you’re old school, Christopher Reeve’s charm in Superman. Or maybe you’re just cranky enough that when someone asks you “What’s the best superhero movie ever?” you answer with a waggish sneer, “There are no best superhero movies ever!”


Well, my waggish, crankish friend, you are wrong — and so are you, and you, and you. Because the best superhero movie of all time is Batman: The Movie, from way back in 1966, based on the classic television series starring Adam West as Batman and Burt Ward as Robin.

Why is it the best superhero movie of all time — and quite possibly the best possible superhero movie? If you saw the TV show you know the general outlines. Adam West does not have foam-rubber pecs like his bat-successors, but he does have a cute little paunch which is clearly outlined in his skintight bat-costume, said paunch sitting unashamedly atop his shiny external bat-underwear. Robin seems to have poured a quart of rabid bees down his green short-shorts and to be bravely fighting the pain by punching his fist into his palm while imitating a (much) skinnier William Shatner. And, of course, there’s the Batmobile, Bat Repellant Shark Spray, Bat Knockout Gas, and bat etcs., each carefully labeled for those who otherwise might confuse the Bat Repellant Whale Spray with the Bat Ladder.

While the standard Bat TV silliness (including Pow! Bam! sound effects) is certainly welcome and awesome, the creators also take full advantage of their bigger budget. On the most basic level, this means we get Batboats and Batcopters. More generally, it means that the film looks fantastic; the colors are crisp, vivid and saturated, more comic booky than the comic books themselves. The music, by the legendary Nelson Riddle, is top notch; the opening sequence, with spotlights illuminating running thugs and various overacting villains, is in itself more stylishly hip than anything in the superhero efforts of name directors like Tim Burton and Sam Rami.

Perhaps the best use of that film budget, though, is that we get not one, not two, not three, but four fabulous villains. Cesar Romero as the Joker gets perhaps the least to do, though he certainly seems to be having the time of his life responding to the Penguin’s nautical submarine commands with an unhinged “Yo-ho!” or fluttering in terror while being stared down by Catwoman’s thoroughly inoffensive-looking house-cat. Frank Gorshin as the Riddler is, as always, incandescently insane — after he accidentally hits the Batcopter with one of his skyrwriting riddle missiles, his wonderment is so intense that it blurs the line between ecstasy and disappointment. Burgess Meredith as the waddling Penguin delivers some of the film’s best lines, declaiming with squawking relish as he contemplates the possible death of his henchmen, “Every one of them has a mother!” or urging his submarine crew to dive with the immortal exhortation, “Run silent, run deep!”

But it’s Lee Meriwether, in her first and only outing as Catwoman, who indisputably steals the show. In the first place, her clinging black skin tight outfit is so hot it’s a wonder the screen doesn’t melt; Halle Berry and Michelle Pfifer might as well just throw on some shapeless sweatshirts and go home. But beyond that…how can you resist her sultry exclamations of “Purrrr-fect!” or her heartfelt “Mroooowwr,” delivered with such vindictive enthusiasm that one of Penguin’s nearby goons looks like he’s swallowed his gum? Perhaps my favorite scene in the film starts with Riddler, Joker, and Penguin framed by a black bar on the top of the screen — when the camera pulls back, we see that it’s the leg of a reclining Catwoman. And then, as the three other villains continue to talk, Catwoman nonchalantly licks the back of her hand (paw?) and then rubs it repeatedly across her face, giving herself a cat bath.

In part the greatness of this Batman is, as this indicates, simply a large smattering of invention, genius, and superior absurdist comedy writing — the Batcopter plummeting to its doom, only to be saved at the last minute when it by happenstance crashes into the outdoor display area of the Foam Rubber Wholesalers Convention; the flapping penguin flippers affixed to the rear of Penguin’s military surplus submarine. But I think, too, that the overall approach to superheroes here is, in general, a lot smarter than you find in most films in the genre.

Put simply, this Batman treats superheroes as if they’re ridiculous. And that’s exactly right; superheroes are ridiculous. My friend, Comics Journal writer Tom Crippen, titled an article about Superman “The Big Dumb Dream,” and that just about says it all. The desire to be so strong and fast and smart and wonderful that you can save the world with one hand while winning at backgammon with the other — it’s cute when kids imagine it, embarrassing when adults do, and silly at all times and in all seasons. It’s not an accident that superhero parodies, from Captain Marvel to Plastic Man, to MAD magazine, to a contemporary title like Empowered have been the most consistently inventive portion of superherodom almost from the genre’s inception. Not because you have to be smart to parody superheroes, but because you have to be at least somewhat stupid not to.

Batman managed to be a particularly brilliant parody because it was both merciless and toothless. Created during the 60s, when faith in authority was being undermined from multiple directions, Batman is never anything but a stooge and a fool. He never develops or Learns To Trust Himself To Overcome Adversity, as happens, for example, in the (still quite entertaining) “Mystery Men,” or the televised “Misfits of Science.” Batman is always purely stupid and stupidly pure, drinking milk and cocoa while out on a hot date as Bruce Wayne, or refusing to dispose of a bomb where it might hurt some cute ducks. Batman is The Man, and The Man is not (as Dark Knight would have you believe) cool or edgy. The Man loves to give orders (poor Robin is always flipping some switch or handing over some piece of equipment that Batman could just as easily have flipped or gotten himself.) The Man is serious (if the villains are always laughing uncontrollably, Batman never cracks a smile.) The Man is a lot less competent than he looks (as Batman proves when he inadvertently, and apparently permanently, scrambles the brains and personalities of the UN security council.) And as a corollary to that, The Man is dumb.

But while The Man may be dumb, he’s also adorably doofy — and he always wins. The villains are attractively malevolent, but if anything they’re less competent than the good guys. And, you know, who among us doesn’t wish that the guards standing athwart chaos and shouting “Stop right there or I’ll blow you away motherfuckers!” — well, wouldn’t it be nice if they cared a little more for cute little duckies? Or that accidental scientific screw ups led to security council members who could see each other’s point of view, rather than to billions of gallons of oil dumped in the Gulf? Batman makes the big dumb dream smaller and a lot less dumb, but it’s still the same dream. It both refutes all that superhero silliness and fulfills it. Which is why, after more than forty years, the 1966 Batman still reigns supreme. I expect it will for forty more as well.

24 thoughts on “The Best Superhero Movie Ever”

  1. Noah,

    I’m not sure I could possibly be more in agreement with you here, but I think you left out what I think is a very important point: the Batman movie totally works for kids as a superhero movie. Or at least it did for me. I used to watch the ’60s Batman TV show as a kid not because it was a pithy and clever comedy or because of its brilliant colors and art direction, but because it was BATMAN. And it totally worked on that level, in addition to all the many other levels you go into in your essay. I think that’s a final facet in this Diamond of Super-Hero Movies.

    I’ll also cop to a soft spot for the Burton films though, especially Batman Returns, which is batshit crazy and as much a comedy as the ’60s Batman.

  2. And by “soft spot” I mean I fucking love those Burton movies, especially Batman Returns, which rivals Ed Wood for Burton’s best film. I don’t know why I tried to downplay that. “Soft spot”? RAGING HARD-ON.

    But the 1966 Batman is still the better film of the three.

  3. I’m not into the Burton films. He’s always rubbed me the wrong way; the quirkiness just seems so in quotes. Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman is radioactively hot, though — I can’t deny that.

    And yeah; my son really likes the Batman 1966 film.

  5. I think the degree to which Batman Returns makes no sense at all as a traditional narrative shouldn’t be underestimated when determining how many quotes may or may not exist around what may be described as quirkiness.

    Eat that syntax!

  6. Ok, i’ll take the bate: here is my top list. Not no Ghost World….assuming this is strictly sups. Also note some Sci-Fi comic adapts not sups…well i had to bend the rule a bit. No animation…because then Batman would be walking away with it for sure.

    1: Iron Man: I am still in awe of how this made me feel. Totally a base emotional pick.
    2: Spider-Man: I identify with Parker, and this is basically flawless in telling his story.
    3: Batman Begins: Cillian Murphy’s Scare Crow helps edge out that other Bat movie. 
    4: Batman: Jack Nicholson 
    5: Hellboy: it’s ridiculously crowded at the top. This is a wonderful film.
    6: X2: X-Men United: My favorite superheroes and this is the Empire Strikes Back of Sup movies.
    7: Superman: pure.
    8: Spider-Man 2: perhaps a better film then the first one…but spiderman’s origin is to good.
    9: V for Vendetta: ok the least ridiculous of these masked men, perhaps even a better movie then it’s position on this list indicates.
    10: The Dark Knight: i loved it…just not as much perhaps I should.
    11: Flash Gordon: before superheroes had a name…and this film out camps Bats.
    12: Iron Man 2: splits the difference between improving and disappointing after the original.
    13: Tank Girl: ridiculous the level of female rep on this list. No mask, no power, but hay this is a ridiculous sci-fi comics film. And it is fun and well done.
    14: Hellboy II: The Golden Army: murky on it’s placement…almost as good as the original.
    15: X-Men: the new hope of Sup movies?!
    16: Mystery Men: could have been a better film, but due to the plot points, everything else worked for me.
    17: Superman Returns: I actually don’t get the hate for this film…minus Lois.
    18: Superman II: I just really hate Zod.
    19: Batman: The Movie: I get your argument, admire the film in many respects. But I am not one who hates serious takes on Sups. Nor do I dislike the campy. I think it is healthy to have the varied interpretations. 
    Watchmen: basically destined to fail. A for effort.
    20: Superman and the Mole Men: out camping Bats.
    21: Kick Ass: cute.

    Clearly this list is soon to be jumbled up, with Thor, Green Lantern, Green Hornet, Cap, Sups, Spidy, Bats and the Avenger’s all on deck. If ever there is a decent effort on the Wonder Women front, I would hope it would make the list. If it is not listed above then I hated it.

    Ok back to reading some Woodring.

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  8. Best superhero movie:
    “Birth of a Nation”, by D.W.Griffith. The template for all superheroes to follow.

    Runner-up:
    “Rat Pfink a Boo-Boo”, by Ray Dennis Steckler.

  9. As compromised by studio meddling as it was, I’d have to nominate POOTIE TANG, which is the Bob Burden movie that MYSTERY MEN wasn’t… though I’d love to see what the script Bob submitted looked like. Apparently, the director (whose claim to fame was the “Taco Bell Chihuahua” commercials) felt that Bob’s script just didn’t match his AUTEURIAL VISION of Bob’s creation. But that being said, while I’ll agree that BATMAN is not only the greatest superhero movie ever (though to be fair, I can’t think of another English-language superhero feature that I don’t loathe, except for ROCKETEER, maybe), but there is no doubt in my mind that the best comic-book-based action/adventure film is DANGER: DIABOLIK.

  10. I recently watched the “Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb!” scene on Youtube and was surprised at how funny it still is. “They may be drinkers, Robin, but they’re still people!” I also watched a scene from an episode of the t.v. series where Batman runs against the Penguin for mayor of Gotham. During a televised debate, the Penguin makes the excellent point that whenever you see Batman, he’s constantly surrounded by criminals, whereas the Penguin is always surrounded by cops. It was kind of a forerunner to Airplane, The Naked Gun, etc.

  12. Hey Noah, just to nitpick (what else are comments for?): I wouldn’t say Plastic Man was a parody, at least not if you mean the original, Jack Cole stuff. It’s light-hearted and whimsical, but there doesn’t seem much in there that is explicitly or even implicitly commenting on superhero conventions. Cole’s PM is its own thing, and would work perfectly well even if there had never been any other superheroes. Kyle Baker’s (excellent and under-appreciated) revival was more deliberately parodic.

    But you could make basically the same point if you said something like “the most inventive superhero comics haven’t taken the idea seriously”.

  13. Oh, and everybody knows that M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable is the best superhero movie. Water is his kryptonite!

    Seriously, though, Georges Franju’s Judex deserves some superhero-movie love (do pulpy, proto-superheroes count?). And Stephen Chow’s brilliant Kung Fu Hustle is kind of a superhero movie, albeit one crossed with martial arts and Bob Clampett.

    I have some hopes for Michel Gondry’s upcoming Green Hornet. If nothing else, it’s sure to be the most suffocatingly whimsical superhero movie ever (at least until Jean-Pierre Jeunet directs one).

  14. Hm. I’ll maybe have to read more of Cole’s Plastic Man and think about that. I definitely feel like some of the Woozy Winks stuff especially is parodic or self-parodic; making fun of super-villain conventions and even of ideas of good and evil. Perhaps I’m misremembering though….

  15. Well, sure, Woozy is a more comical figure than Plas. But the fat, comical sidekick — either bumbling, or obsessed with food, or both — was well on its way to becoming a generic trope by the time Woozy appeared. I think Doiby Dickles (from Green Lantern) and Etta Candy (from you know where) came before him; and, over in Popeye, there was a point where Wimpy was practically equal co-star with Popeye, at least in the Sunday strips.

  16. I’m just remembering this one story in particular…there’s all this stuff with breaking the fourth wall…is that the one where he’s fighting the giant puritan from the past? I mean, at some point it got more than just light-hearted and was actually out and out absurdist….

  18. “…and, over in Popeye, there was a point where Wimpy was practically equal co-star with Popeye, at least in the Sunday strips.”

    Heh, you should know! Wimpy often passed himself off as “Jones…I’m one of the Jones boys.”

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  21. I bought the DVD of the 1966 Batman movie as a Christmas present for my eight-year-old nephew, a real Batmaniac (and superhero fanatic in general). He watched the movie and really liked it; I knew that movie, which I’d seen for the first time on Comcast only two weeks ago (due to Noah’s review), would appeal to a young boy, despite his having no interest in camp.

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