According to the new Thor movie, every few millennia the universes line up for an anything-goes cosmic cross-over called the Convergence. Inhabitants of unrelated realms get sucked through portals and tossed together to defy the laws of physics. It happened for the first time in 2012. They called it The Avengers. Superheroes from all the Marvelverses were plucked from their disparate origin worlds to converge in a single, box office-defying blockbuster.
Physicists predict the next Convergence will occur in 2015—not once, but twice! Not only will The Avengers 2 draw the sequel-spinning franchises of Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America together again, but Warner Brothers’ Batman vs. Superman has Gotham and Metropolis on a collision course—with Paradise Island and Starling City and other DC planets to be swept into the same Justice League gravity pit.
But which Convergence will come to define all of superhero reality?
In Thor: the Dark World, an evil dark elf wants to use the Convergence to remake reality in his own dark image. He’s played by former Doctor Who Christopher Eccleston, but his real name is Christopher Nolan. The Dark Knight trilogy and the gray tones it casts over Man of Steel now define the DC brand. It’s a humorless void happier with the droning rumble of Christian Bale’s Bat-rasp than the giggles of a live audience.
The Dark Knight Elf wants to crush the world into a Black Hole. But Thor, with his lightning bolts and deadpan timing, is all about levity. He’s super-hunk Chris (not Christopher) Hemsworth in the credits, but his real name is Joss Whedon. The Asgardian—like his buddies Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, and even the ever earnest Steve Rodgers—is a Comedian. He throws that mighty hammer at all kinds of monstrous bad-asses, but he it’s our funny bone he keeps hitting. I didn’t see Joshing Joss’ name in the credits, but I hear Mr. Whedon was responsible for major rewrites and reshoots—all part of his uber-duties as the overseeing Odin of the Marvelverses. He’s Captain Convergence, and he wants the world to end in a laugh not a rasp.
Of course the Whedonverse isn’t a flawless reality. There’s a moment in Thor 2 when a funeral barge sails over an Asgardian waterfall and hangs there a moment before dropping—a little like Wile E. Coyote after sprinting past the edge of a canyon. It would be pointless to criticize a Road Runner cartoon for its failure to follow basic laws of physics. And the same is true of Thor: the Dark World and the laws of plotting. The word “convenient” comes to mind, as does “inexplicable” and “far-fetched.” Director Alan Taylor is hoping we’ll be too busy enjoying ourselves to ask annoying questions like “How is it that a random convergence portal just happened to drop Thor’s girlfriend of all people into the exact spot where the Dark Elf’s reality-destroying superweapon has been hidden for millennia?” Comic worlds tend to cut corners. Do we really need to hear a ponderous explanation? Nolanland has plenty of those, and its’ still pockmarked with its own plot portals.
The Whedonverse—despite Whedon having literally majored in Women’s Studies—also can’t find much for Natalie Portman to do but look lovelorn and occasionally panic-stricken. This might be the result of the gender-challenged fabric of superhero reality, since DC can’t even turn a Wonder Woman screenplay penned by Joss Whedon into an actual movie. Apparently Hollywood executives think fanboys won’t buy tickets to see scantily-clad women in fight scenes. And yet the shirtless beefcake shot (Hemsworth provides a couple screamers) has become a staple of the genre (the clothing-challenged Stephen Amell flexes weekly on the CW’s Arrow).
This may or may not be why my wife surprised us both by saying she wanted to see the new Thor movie. I was so underwhelmed by the first that I was going to pass, but I’m glad she suggested it. I like dumb fun. I also like smart fun, but that combination has yet to Converge on a superhero universe. I’m hoping it won’t take a millennia.
Chris, thanks for a great post. I just enjoyed your other recent mythological post, too.
My local comic shop owner has informed me that DC’s tone is lightening up. I welcome the news, but I’m still reluctant to go try one of their books again. I tried to hang on for too long in what amounted to an abusive relationship. I went looking for fun with stalwart characters I thought I knew. I received a bleak callousness unbecoming of heroes and exploitation for shock value’s sake. This just occurred to me as I write this, but I’d actually like an apology.
Speaking of exploitation, I totally just used you and HU as my therapists. Sorry. I’ll look for a bill in my mailbox.
Well, rumor has it that Nolan stepped away from Batman vs. Superman when Ben Affleck was cast. Both facts could bode well for DC if it means approaching their heroes from a less nihilistic angle. That’s not quite an apology, but . . .
Thanks. I think those facts do bode well for diversity of artistic voice, if nothing else (too lazy to think of a less pretentious phrase right now). Batman stories can both justify and pull off far more nihilism than most others, and it still got really old by the end of Nolan’s watch. Snark from Alfred, an Adam West cameo — I needed something to smile about, you know? Even Batman can have fun occasionally. The characters in The Avengers franchise hydra certainly do, despite the drama.
I think Marvel and DC, and to an an even greater extent the movie studios tend to find one successful artist and idolize him as the Fan Whisperer who will turn their dreams into gold and never leave them stuck explaining poor sales and bad reviews in a staff meeting. Of course, this is too much to expect from anyone. As they used to say in stand-up, “They can’t all be gems.”
There’s a moment in Thor 2 when a funeral barge sails over an Asgardian waterfall and hangs there a moment before dropping—a little like Wile E. Coyote after sprinting past the edge of a canyon.
But hanging in the air for a moment before dropping is accurate physics!
Also I assumed those shots of Thor’s manly biceps were for the women in the audience, not the fanboys… Thor-the-comic has always had a large female readership, hasn’t it? It would have been nice for a movie shooting for a female viewership to have had a less passive heroine, but it’s not really a requirement, since Thor is about Thor and Loki and the rest of the Asgardian Gods anyway. I thought Natalie Portman’s character was fine.
“Thor-the-comic has always had a large female readership, hasn’t it?”
I honestly don’t know if you’re joking or not.
No, I thought that was true? It’s full of fan-fictional tropes and ridiculous scenarios and Thor being a dumb blonde.
Maybe I’m extrapolating too much from what the comic was like to who was reading it…
Which Thor run is this? The current one?
No, Classic Thor. I’m talking about my secondhand impression from what other people have reposted here, but the old Thor comics seem pretty similar to like, original generation Star Trek in seriousness and tone.
Huh. Well, maybe I’m completely wrong, but I just have trouble believing that old Thor was all that demographically different than other marvel comics. But maybe someone can tell me different…
As far as passive heroines, that’s my biggest disappointment with the Whedon reign so far. There were long sequences in Thor 2 in which Portman did nothing but swoon. When Thor and Loki are arguing over how to turn on the spaceship controls she’s just perched there in the background without a line. Couldn’t a touch of her anti-matter have juiced the engines instead? Or Emma Stone in Spider-Man (outside of Whedon’s sphere of influence, I know), her character is shoved into the back of a squad car while boyfriend and dad go battle the lizard in act three. Though IM3 does offer a counter balance when Paltrow saves Tony Stark while in his suit and then later destroys the suit with her own superpowered punch. Given the box office payoff of IM3, I can’t believe there’s any pushback on empowering love interests. But then why isn’t there a Black Widow movie in production yet?