Morpheus Strip: Dream Is Dead (All Hail Dream)

This is the last in a roundtable on Neil Gaiman’s Sandman series. There’s lots of good stuff in the previous posts (too much good stuff, perhaps, but such is the danger of going last). If you haven’t already, take a look at:
Noah’s “Dream Lovers,” Suat’s “Impressions of Sandman,” Tom’s “Post-modern Something,” and Vom Marlowe’s “Revisiting Old Lives.”

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Like everyone else in the world, I loved Sandman when it first came out. I have all the collected volumes but one (more on that later), and while I haven’t reread any of them, I do still think of some of the stories and characters sometimes. (Which would especially impress you if you had any idea of the mental chaos I fight daily just to remember to, say, eat lunch – although if you’ve followed Gluey Tart at all, you no doubt do have some idea.) So, I remember the whole thing fondly but was a bit worried that stirring it up again would just make everyone unhappy, like visiting my home town or listening to ‘80s Aerosmith (and ‘90s or, quelle horreur, ‘00s Aerosmith is obviously not even on the table).

Mostly, though, I was just excited about figuring out where the hell that enormous stack of Sandman books was and digging in. On top of a bookcase, it turned out, and not under a huge, dusty, towering stack of God knows what, like almost everything else I look for. And I realize that there are books on top of these stacks, and everything can’t always actually be on the bottom, but sometimes I wonder if they don’t migrate there on their own, trying to hide from me – something that could easily happen in Sandman, now that I think about it. I decided to look at the two Orpheus stories because I particularly liked those. (They’re in Fables and Reflections and Brief Lives, if you’d like to read them yourself.) Or maybe I’d pick something else – I didn’t know. (I often don’t; I prefer to think of it as being flexible.) But I flipped through the books in order and, good lord, that is some lousy-ass art. I mean, a jittery, shifting every few pages, unnervingly bad collection of art. A Game of You is the worst – that one doesn’t just make me just cringe but also makes me fucking angry about its really excessive badness. I kept thinking no, this is really so bad I can’t quite bring myself to spend quality time with it.

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I remember having problems with a lot of the art in Sandman the first time around – the overall quality (by which I mean the lack thereof), but also the startling shifts in style and character design in mid-arc. Like these three consecutive pages:

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No, of course it isn’t all horrible. (I like two of the those last three pages, and don’t mind the other.) But a lot of it is. And if it bothered me then, it freaks me the hell out now, having since discovered manga and becoming accustomed to the joys of consistency and artistic whatsit. So I riffled through every volume until I found one that I liked the look of pretty consistently.

Unfortunately, that volume was the second to the last, The Kindly Ones. This is unfortunate in several respects:

1) It is an endgame sort of volume that heavily references and wraps up a number of previous storylines, few of which I remembered as well as I needed to.
2) Morpheus fucking dies. I hate that.
3) See point 1. This collection isn’t boring, but it does feel like more of a settling of accounts than an exciting bit of fantasy, and you kind of have to read the whole thing – there isn’t a shorter piece that holds up on its own in this volume.
4) Morpheus dies. Did I mention that already? I loved Morpheus, in all his enigmatic, usually barely there but always wonderfully Goth manifestations. Morpheus dying is counter to my personal agenda.

Let us tackle these points in order, you and I.

1) Reading Sandman always reminded me of reading Ezra Pound, except that I like Neil Gaiman, while I always sort of wanted to kick Ezra Pound’s ass. What I mean is that Gaiman throws in all these allusions to various mythological and historical high points, and you won’t really understand what’s going on if you don’t get those connections – much like Pound, of course, but ramped down a couple hundred decibels. Gaiman doesn’t reference anything really obscure, and, you know, nothing’s actually written in Greek. So that puts it in a whole other and hugely more acceptable level of pretentiousness right there. Also, Gaiman has so much fun with it, you wind up having fun with it, too. It isn’t “See ye these literary allusions and weep in terror at my big old brain.” It’s more like, “Oh, my God, and then the ravens, the ravens are so cool, and wait, wait, Loki! See what I did there! Oh that’s so cool! And that could tie in with…”

2) I was, and remain, in love with Morpheus. He was written beautifully, if not always drawn beautifully. He is ambiguous – his relationships with the other characters aren’t often clear, or his motivations, or his intent. I often want to scream at writers to please shut up – stop telling me about the damned character. I don’t need to know everything. I want there to be some mystery in our relationship, just like in real life. It’s hard to retain the ambiguity and keep hold of the character, I know – too much information and you feel like a six-year-old has been tugging at your arm and filling you in on all the complexities of the Transformers for several hours; too little information and you don’t care because you never connected with the character in the first place. More people should try, though. Reading Sandman might help.

Morpheus talks a lot about the rules, and the following thereof, and the doing of what must be done. A beautiful example of this is the action that drives the last nail in his coffin. He gives Nuala a pendant when she leaves the Dreaming, telling her he’ll come if she calls him. To grant a boon of some sort. This is one of the many complicated plot points that lead directly to Morpheus’ death. I’m not saying much about any of them because who has the time? This one, though, might bear some explication. Nuala, a fairie who’d been given to Dream in an earlier story, loves Morpheus and mopes around a lot, pining for him. When her brother shows up unexpectedly to take her back to Fairie, she lets Morpheus decide if she stays or goes. He cuts her loose. As a result, later, when Nuala learns Morpheus is in trouble, she summons him – at the worst possible time – hoping to save him by getting him to stay with her. By asking him to love her. Well, who hasn’t had the impulse? It never works for any of us, and Nuala is no exception. This is all very poignant, etc. etc. What I love about it is that Morpheus comes when she calls him. The Dreaming is being pulled down around his ears, but he’d be safe if he stayed put. He tells her the timing sucks, but when she insists, he goes, knowing the furies will take the Dreaming in his absence. I don’t love this because, oh, it’s so romantic (wibble wibble). I mean, it’s hard not to be annoyed with both of them, on that level. I love it because I believe Morpheus when he gives his reason for doing it – there are rules, and they must be followed. Some might say, well, perhaps an exception might be made in this case. I see the logic, but I’m utterly charmed by Morpheus’ failure to compromise. I have a great deal of sympathy for that position. Of course, he sort of does become someone else in the end, anyway. But it’s all, you know. Ambiguous.

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3) The Kindly Ones isn’t the most exciting Sandman collection, but it is still fantastic fantasy. It’s the kind of thing you read on the train for fifteen minutes, and then you get off the train downtown and walk onto the dimly lit platform and start looking around for Norse gods or sentient crows or faeries or something.

4) Morpheus’ death comes as no surprise. There’s a lot of foreshadowing in all shades from really obscure to ham-fisted like an ultra-conservative Republican state representative, but it’s still a shock when it happens. I like the way it’s portrayed, too. A light flashes, and goes out. And Dream the Endless is gone. And everything else goes on. Which is just exactly how death works.

Whenever Death (the character) tells someone they got what everybody gets – a lifetime – I think of the Stephen Crane story, “The Open Boat.” The theme of that story being, basically, “it is what it is.” The tie-in is obvious: nature doesn’t care, and death does her job, because that’s what she is. In The Kindly Ones, Morpheus talked a lot about fulfilling his responsibilities, and many characters questioned his motives. Did you do this on purpose? Do you want to die? One of the many bits of foreshadowing comes via Loki, a divine trickster, but not in a fun, gentle, let’s exploit Native American legends and wear dream-catcher earrings sort of way. Morpheus is the reason Loki is out in the world and wreaking havoc (on Morpheus, as it turns out) instead of being tied by his son’s entrails under the earth with snake venom dripping down on him for eternity, where he belongs. The Corinthian (sort of the ultimate walking nightmare, which Morpheus recreates toward the beginning of this collection) steals Loki’s eyes and breaks his neck, and Odin and Thor take Loki back to the underworld to tie him back down. Loki tries to get the dim-witted Thor to kill him, but Odin intervenes, and Loki isn’t able to escape his fate worse than death. Because Loki is a god, and that’s what’s proper. Morpheus (who is not a god, but the distinction is – well, indistinct) is able to escape, though. What does that mean? I don’t know. That’s how death works, too.

I refused to read the last Sandman collection, The Wake, when it came out. At the end of The Kindly Ones, another character takes over the dreaming (Daniel, who’s never done anything to me, but I hate him anyway – see points 2 and 4 – even though he becomes basically a new version of Morpheus – but it’s sort of like reincarnation in Buddhism, where the flame goes out, and the flame is reignited, but it’s not really the same flame). Sandman was about Morpheus for me, and when Morpheus died, I didn’t want anything else to do with it. Which was really quite emo of me. But it’s also a testament to what Neil Gaiman did with this series, even saddled with a collection of crappy art he had to drag around behind him like the rotting carcass of a castrated ox (or some other foul, unwieldy dead ungulate of your choice). I hesitate to use the “t” word, but in Sandman, Neil Gaiman created something transcendent, in its way. Not “I’m going hire a lawyer to help me set up a religion” transcendent, but something that somewhat extends the limits of ordinary experience.

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Gluey Tart: Kiss All the Boys

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Shiuko Kano, 2008, Deux Press

I was deeply confused by this three-book series, but in a good way. Mostly. I avoided Kiss All the Boys for a while, despite my love for Shiuko Kano, because – I don’t know. I’m up for many forms of kink. Kink me, I usually say. But I was worried about many things. The picture on the back cover of the first volume, for one.

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I’m all for cross dressing, but I never developed a taste for young boys in girls’ school uniforms. Maybe it’s those baggy socks. But the big, adult-looking hand lifting up the skirt is really kind of the last straw of squick here.

And then there’s, oh, the plot. (Spoilers ho; if you’re sensitive about being spoiled, you’ll want to hop off the bus now. Bye! Be sure to get some breakfast – it’s the most important meal of the day!) Here is my short, concise, and entirely to-the-point synopsis. Pornographer’s gay son comes to live with him, displaying a truly alarming level of sexual precociousness; pornographer is unpleasantly homophobic and also battling impotence, which is played for laughs in a way I don’t quite know how to deal with; pornographer’s son brings home his crush object, his cute’n’clueless best friend; pornographer snipes mercilessly at son; pornographer accidentally winds up jerking off a male stranger in a movie theater (and, you know, somehow that has never happened to me); the stranger falls in love with the pornographer AND winds up being his new neighbor; the pornographer has sex with his new neighbor and gets caught by his son; the son hits on his friend and sends said friend running, screaming, into the street (that’s never happened to me, either, but I’ve come a lot closer to this than the other scenario); the pornographer chases down the friend and accidentally comforts him; the pornographer finds out that his friend and editor who is also the son’s uncle is in love with the pornographer, sending the pornographer running, screaming, into the street; the pornographer finally cruelly dumps his neighbor, who surprisingly and for no obvious reason winds up with the best friend, who I was sure was going to wind up with the pornographer; the son winds up not with the clueless object of crush, which I also thought was a sure thing, but instead with the pornographer’s kind of skeevy replacement editor, who shows up after the pornographer’s best friend quits after the pornographer runs screaming into the street after he finds out his friend loves him; as a bonus surprise, the son turns out not to be alarmingly sexually precocious at all but actually a virgin, which the skeevy new editor cures him of, so we don’t get total relief on the whole kind of disturbing underage sex front; and, just to prove that, the pornographer winds up with the son’s dorky, innocent, underage crush.

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I’m going to give you all a few moments to catch your breath; I know I’m feeling a little winded.

OK. If you made it all the way through that plot summary, you now understand two things. Thing one: There is a certain amount of dubious sexual content in these books. Not dubious as in dubious consent – although there’s a sprinkling of that, too – but dubious as in “I don’t know, that might not be hot so much as kind of gross.”

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Thing two: Oh my God! It’s like Kano took everything she had left in her refrigerator, then raided her neighbors’ houses and took everything they had in their refrigerators, and diced it all up into a huge bowl, and then had to go find a bigger bowl because the first bowl wasn’t big enough, and then had to divide it up into both bowls because otherwise she couldn’t add the salad dressing, and then she threw both bowls up into the air at the same time, creating a whirling salad storm that was so all-encompassing, all you can do is roll around in the salad and laugh uncontrollably.

Or maybe that’s just me. It’s kind of a salad day here in Chicago, hot and humid, and I could really use some lunch.

Anyway. This series is funny and squicky and messy, and the squicky and messy are there on purpose to add bite to the funny. And let’s not forget the sex (as if you could; Kano creates some, shall we say, vivid scenarios). There’s lots of it, and despite my initial reservations (and the invisi-penis syndrome) ( and step right this way for a discussion on yaoi conventions re. the handling of the penis), I finished the series happy and not permanently damaged by anything I’d seen. That might not sound like a ringing endorsement, but it is. This series is sort of like watching clips of Bam Margera skateboarding . You think, oh, he’s kind of nasty, but he does have that adorable relationship with Ville Valo from HIM, and Ville Valo is surreally hot, and Bam is kind of amazing on the skateboard, and it’s a little bit satisfying watching him wipe out, too, and overall, well – yeah.

You will have no doubt noted that I have invoked both salad gone wild and Bam Margera in my attempt to describe these books. All I can say is, if that doesn’t make you want to read them, I don’t know what would. I’ve done my best.

Gluey Tart: Black Sun

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Uki Ogasawara, Black Sun, 2008, 801 Media, Inc.

I can’t even think about this title without kind of flapping my hands and sputtering a bit. It’s – yes. Well. It is not for those of you who don’t appreciate your explicit content; nor is it for those of you who don’t have a healthy tolerance for dubcon. (Some would call it non-consensual, or noncon, but I think, in context, there really is dubious consent, or dubcon). You’ll also need to have a healthy tolerance for general absurdity, historical mishigas, and borderline racism. But presumably the yaoi fans among us are not dismayed by that sort of thing.

The story is set during the Crusades. This is just – think about this. A sweeping manporn tale of the forbidden love between a Christian knight and a Turkish general during the Crusades. It’s absurd to take yaoi history remotely seriously, but I just can’t stop myself from pointing out here that the point of the Crusades was for Europe to recapture the Holy Land from Muslim rule. Now, think about this in the context of the untenable position the Western world now finds itself in re. the Middle East. It adds texture.

Deus lo volt!

OK. I’m not going to say anything else about that.

I do want to mention the whole Japanese mangaka picking out European names thing, though. It’s wonderful. In this story, our uke (or bottom) is Prince Leonard de Limbourg, a monastic knight from Gerun Fortress. At first glance I thought someone was finally paying tribute to the gerund, a wonderful and under-appreciated part of speech, but alas, no. The Turkish general is Jamal Jan, which sounds like an old-school rap compilation. Another Western character is named Nicolaides Vassilios.

But let’s talk about the dubcon. I mean, the plot. Within the first thirty pages of the manga, Leonard has surrendered and Jamal has had his filthy way with him, in front of the troops. Huh, you might be saying. That sounds like rape. Rape is non-consensual. And yes, in the real world, it very much is. In yaoi, though, there’s a subgenre of uke who thinks he doesn’t want it but really needs a strong man to take him and thus show him what he really wanted all along. No, no, no, you’re saying. That’s still rape. That’s exactly the excuse rapists use. And yes, you’re right again. In the real world, this scenario is indefensible. In anything anyone might take remotely seriously, I’d have intractable problems with it. But in yaoi, and especially a title as over the top as this, it doesn’t bother me as a fantasy trope. You might feel differently – which is why I point out, prominently, that the relationship and the rest of the plot is built on what happens in this scene.

If this is something you can fantasize about, there’s plenty of, er, meat to this story. Oh, my God, the sex. Lots and lots of sex. Hugely embarrassing to try and read on the train, let me tell you. Penises everywhere. It seemed like every time I turned that page, I thought I was safe, but – no! Erection in panel two! Glistening bare buttocks in panel five! Unexpected fellatio in the full-page panel on the left! Black Sun is a full-body aerobic workout.

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The art is good, too – and did I say explicit? No columns of light here. Very realistic naughty bits everywhere you look. It’s difficult to get past that, but there are also some wonderfully expressive faces – and pretty, too. Very, very pretty. And, um, elaborate costuming. I especially like the burlesque biking costume Leonard is sporting toward the end of the book.

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And at the end, the entire manga is hijacked by a minor but pivotal turn by Nicolaides’ pet panther. From the panther’s point of view. I will not diminish its greatness by even attempting to describe it, but I do suggest that if you decide this title is not your cup of massively politically incorrect and potentially post-traumatic stress syndrome-inducing tea, you might want to pluck it off the bookstore shelf and read the panther story on the last few pages of the book.

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Gluey Tart: Archie’s Double Dip

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Before anyone becomes horribly disturbed, this is not a yaoi title. I just gave in to a fit of sentimental whatsit. I’ve been doing that, lately. I also bought People magazine’s tribute to Farrah Fawcett. I loved “Charlie’s Angels” when I was little. I collected pictures of Farrah, and I recognized every one of the ’70s pictures in the magazine. Reading this magazine was a very emotional experience. Cathartic. I’m feeling a little verklempt, just thinking about it.

So, when I was at the comics rack at Borders the other day, desperately pawing through it to try and find something suitable for my young son, I paused dramatically at the Archie titles. Because I loved Archie comics when I was little, too. Even more than Farrah. So, overwhelmed with nostalgia, I picked up Archie’s Double Dip, evidently a Very Special Issue (the 200th, according to the excitable little yellow burst on the cover). I was curious about this, and alarmed. Because apparently, Archie Comics Online and Its Affiliated Companies have decided Archie needs a Dynamic New Look. The classic Dan Decarlo look, degraded as it has become, is apparently just too distinctive. Archie is being mainstreamed.

Woe!

It’s just the cover and the first story. It isn’t a no-going-back kind of thing; I imagine they’ll dump it as a failed experiment if people hate it. Or they’ll usher everything into the Borg collective, if people love it. Hard as that is to contemplate. Because, good grief, look at this. Here’s the second page.

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The artist is Norm Breyfogle, and I’m thinking he should have maybe turned down this gig. I’m not intimately familiar with his work, but he’s done a lot of Batman, and let us just say he seems much more comfortable with the pointy ears and the swishy capes. That’s Betty’s dad in the middle panel, apparently having an epileptic seizure. It’s as if drawing the drama of dad stealing some cake is so ordinary we’re maybe overcompensating a little. I love this ad, too.

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Betty: “Is this really goodbye forever?”
Archie: “Holy shit, is that a centipede on the ceiling? It’s enormous!”

And, here.

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What the hell happened to Archie’s chin? And Betty looks like a sex doll with the head put on askew. Is this what the kids are into, these days?

I realize it’s a desperate attempt to sell more comics, by any means necessary, and not a dark plot to indoctrinate girls into the ugly that is mainstream comics art. At least, I assume that’s the case. I guess if it is a dark plot, that’s actually kind of cool, although I sort of hope it doesn’t work.

Gluey Tart: Yakuza in Love

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Yakuza in Love
Shiuko Kano, Deux Press, 2008

Love. Really – love. Hand-flailing, stupid grinning, trying to cover up the sex scenes with my hand on the crowded train love. I love Shiuko Kano – I love Tough Love Baby, and I love Kiss All the Boys. But I have a special love for this three-volume series. I mean, yakuza. In love. If you need much more than that, you’re a hard woman or man indeed.

Yes, yes, I know; it could have all failed miserably. Of course it could have. But it didn’t. It’s brilliant. The art is consistently good, with a slightly sort of hard-boiled style that reminds me of boy’s manga (you know – sort of), and the splash pages are so amazingly awesome I kind of swoon over them. The story is as funny and sexy and goofy as you could hope a title called Yakuza in Love would be.

Let me be completely clear: This is a ridiculous series. There are good gangsters, who are honorable and kind, and bad gangsters, who do bad things. That’s one of the reasons it works – the ridiculous holds together so well, is so seamless, that it is unassailable. It’s a smooth, perfectly spackled, freshly painted wall of ridiculous. And it thrills me. It reminds me of what I love so much about this genre – lovable characters who teeter precariously but don’t quite fall off a sheer cliff of absurdity. Also, batshit crazy plots and even crazier subplots, all mixed liberally with unapologetically over-the-top romance and hot sex. Really, Yakuza in Love is a delight, all three volumes of it. Order it right now, before Deux goes out of business. Seriously.

Wait just a minute, I hear you saying. I love Deux, too, but that’s $35.85, plus tax and/or shipping. It’s a recession, you dizzy tart. I need serious persuasion to lay down that kind of money. OK – I hear you. Here, without further teasing, is the “ZOMG You Really Need YIL in your Life, Buy It Now or I Swear to God I’ll Use More Acronyms” list.

1) The main character is a doofy, coltish baby gangster with a huge, cross-shaped scar on his face (like Kenshin!!!!!). He rises quickly in the organization – which is named the Flower Gang (which may not actually be funny in Japan but made me giggle happily) – because he saves the boss’ life. Not because he’s bad (well, maybe in the Michael Jackson sense of “I’m bad”), but because he shoves the boss aside when he’s about to step on a baby bird. (It’s one ugly-ass little bird, too.)

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Every time I think about this page, I die again.

2) Cute, doofy, scar-faced baby bird saver picks up an older, mature, more gangster-like gangster (not picks up as in, “Hey baby, I’ve got a daddy complex, buy me a drink?” but as in driving the car to prison and holding the door open so the guy can get in). Tall, dark, and good-looking the younger falls in love with tall, dark, and good-looking the elder at first sight, complete with staring at him in the rear-view mirror and blushing. If you cross yourself at the thought of a daddy set-up, I’m right there with you, but this – is adorable.

3) The old-fashioned, good gangsters are honorable and promote chivalry.

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The bad, decadent new gangsters traffic in bad and decadent things like snuff films. Come on. Snuff films! This is good stuff. (Lighten up, y’all – they don’t really exist. They’re an urban myth. It’s OK to laugh.)

4) Dog reaction shot.

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5) Trans characters who are, yes, played for laughs, but arguably not more than any of the other characters. There’s a trans character with a small but important part who’s extremely likable and not treated like a freak. And within the context of the story, manly gangsters going to the trans bar is not considered exceptional behavior. This pleases me.

6) These gangsters are not afraid to show their emotions. They are very sensitive gangsters indeed. It is – you know what’s coming – adorable.

7) Super alternate ending, with absurdity warning!

OK. If you need more persuading, this series is obviously not for you. I can’t quite fathom how this could be, but I dimly understand that people do occasionally disagree with me. Go in peace anyway.

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Gluey Tart on Women in Comics

This is part of a roundtable on women creators. Please read the previous entries, if you haven’t already – there’s lots of good stuff, as always.

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This is a roundtable on women creators in general, but I originally thought it was just about women creators in comics – which seemed like an odd topic. Don’t you think? And indeed that wasn’t quite the topic, but this is a blog that is kind of sort of about comics, so what the hell. And you do see this sort of thing, not infrequently. You know what I mean: “Huh. Women comics creators. Let us discuss their relevance!” It made me realize that I live in a bubble. Because I find it bizarre that people would focus on comics by women as a specific subgenre, as people do in the West. I read comics – shojo and yaoi manga – all the time, lots and lots of them, almost all by women. It’s unusual for me to read comics by men. So the situation with American mainstream comics strikes me as a weird aberration.

There certainly aren’t a lot of women working on mainstream American titles, though, and I have to wonder why. It isn’t that women can’t do it (proof below), or even that women are inherently disinterested in mainstream comics; something’s keeping them out. There have been lively discussions about that topic on this very blog – here is a recent one, and here is more of a classic.

When I thought about women creators in comics (in the West), the first name that came to mind was Jill Thompson. Apparently I was right on the money with that, since her Web site says she is “the most well-known female comic book artist working in the comics industry today.” She has done art for a lot of mainstream titles, including some of my favorites, Sandman and The Invisibles. These are girl-friendly mainstream titles, of course, especially Sandman. She’s also illustrated even more mainstream ones (more tights and capes, fewer girls) – Batman and Spiderman and Wonder Woman. (Do I know which series? No. I find the myriad divisions of Batman and Spiderman and Wonder Woman and the like incredibly confusing, and frankly, I can barely get out of bed and get to work every morning, much less keep track of superheroes. Ignore ’em all and let God sort ’em out, I say.) (I do know who’s DC and who’s Marvel, if that makes anyone feel any better. Although I frequently say Superman when I mean Spiderman, much to the irritation of my son and husband. I do know the difference, I just apparently don’t – care.) (And the names Superman and Spiderman are treated differently, now that I think of it. Like Kmart and Wal-Mart. One has a hyphen and a capital letter in the middle, and one doesn’t. I know this because I am an editor and people get it wrong all the time. Or people used to, when people were writing about Kmart. My easy way of remembering it is that Kmart has nothing and Wal-Mart has everything.) (I don’t actually have any other pointless interjections at this point; I just wanted to throw in another parenthetical comment to show I could do it.) I’ve seen a certain amount of Thompson’s work on those titles, and I don’t especially like any of it. It fits in with the rest of mainstream comics artwork, which is what it’s supposed to do.

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Look at this panel, which I chose at random from The Invisibles because I had it at hand. And, huh. What the hell is going on here? This is not exactly the stuff, artistically. Which is pretty much what I always think when I look at mainstream American comics. (This is personal, but I don’t mind sharing it with you: I don’t understand why superhero comics readers are content with art that isn’t that great. The art is at least fifty percent of what’s going on. It should be really good, or why not just read words?)

The thing is, I actually come not to bury Jill Thompson but to praise her. I’m not crazy about her mainstream comic art, but I don’t really like any mainstream American comic art. She’s done some wonderful work, though. Her Scary Godmother books are some of my favorites. They’re actually children’s books and not technically comics. Well, they sort of hang out at the intersection between comics and picture books. The art is wonderful, stylish, and fun. (The storytelling is also very good.) You get the feeling Thompson got to do what she wanted to do here, like she finally got to slip her leash and run.

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I wouldn’t know the first panel was drawn by a woman. I’d assume it was done by a man because most of those kinds of comics are. I would definitely assume the second panel was drawn by a woman. That’s because the first one conforms to the expected mainstream American comics look, and the second one is a cute Goth for girls thing. I am a fan of some, but not all, cute Goth for girls things (as in most areas of human endeavor, some are well done and some are lacking). I am also aware that this genre lives in a ghetto, segregated from the other titles in the comics store.

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Scary Godmother is a series of four hard-bound books, published in the late ’90s, plus a couple of comic book series and a one-shot or two. It has a distinctive style and is done in watercolors, which is clearly the way for Thompson to go. I say that because her next two projects, Death: At Death’s Door and Dead Boy Detectives, are drawn in a manga-cized version of her Scary Godmother style, but in black and white, and they don’t do much for me.

Those books were followed by Beasts of Burden, which you can read online right here. This title was written by Evan Dorkin and illustrated by Thompson, in a return to watercolors. The art is nice, and (separately, in my opinion), she won an Eisner award for it. (She won one for Scary Godmother, too.) Thompson also has a new series of children’s books about a character called Magic Trixie, and it’s very much in line with Scary Godmother, thematically and artistically. Also painted. The art is lovely.

So, there are a couple of points here. Point the first: Jill Thompson has done some really good stuff, and you might want to hook yourself up with it. Point the second: There aren’t many women creators in mainstream American comics, and the best-known one – who is capable of great things – hasn’t done anything close to her best work in this field. One is tempted to draw conclusions. It suggests, I think, that mainstream comics, with its emphasis on continuity of the visual style rather than on the artistic strengths of the individual creators, doesn’t attract female artists because it doesn’t play to their strengths. Or any artist’s strengths, from the looks of it. I can see why an outsider might shy away from joining this club.

Gluey Tart: Is Disgruntled

manhattan love story
Manhattan Love Story, by Momoko Tenzen
March 2009, Digital Manga Publishing

god of dogs
God of Dogs, by Satoru Ishihara
September 2008, Digital Manga Publishing

romantic illusions
Romantic Illusions, by Reiichi Hiiro
September 2008, Digital Manga Publishing

love knot
Love Knot, by Hiroko Ishimaru
February 2009, Digital Manga Publishing

I don’t necessarily want to write about manga I dislike. This isn’t my naturally sunny disposition rearing its ugly head; I just don’t want to spend any more time with it than necessary. I read it, I failed to enjoy it, and the last thing I want to do is think about it for another thirty minutes. I’ve been on an unlucky streak, though, and decided I should share the pain – I mean, discuss what makes these yaoi titles the varying shades of bad that they are.

That reminds me of one of my favorite Edgar Allen Poe stories, “Berenice”:

“Misery is manifold. The wretchedness of earth is multiform. Overreaching the wide horizon as the rainbow, its hues are as various as the hues of that arch – as distinct too, yet as intimately blended. Overreaching the wide horizon as the rainbow! How is it that from beauty I have derived a type of unloveliness? – from the covenant of peace, a simile of sorrow? But as, in ethics, evil is a consequence of good, so, in fact, out of joy is sorrow born. Either the memory of past bliss is the anguish of today, or the agonies which are, have their origin in the ecstasies which might have been.

So true, yes? “Berenice” kicks ass, by the way, because the protagonist (whose name is Egaeus, for heaven’s sake) disinters his lost love to remove her teeth. She might not have been dead when she was buried, either, but of course that’s a given.

I am obviously not holding any of these poor books up to the standard of “Berenice,” because in that context, most things come off pretty badly. The thing is, every time I pick up a yaoi manga, I’m hoping to fall in love. I’m hoping something will work for me and leave me with a happy, stupid-looking smile on my face. And I’m really pretty easy, too. I’m usually happy enough if the art is pretty, even if the story isn’t great. Conversely, if the story is nice, but the art isn’t ideal, that’s still OK. And even if the art and the story are both a bust, sometimes the mangaka will hit one of my kinks, and that’s enough for me, too. So a title really needs to succeed on only one of three levels for me to feel like I got something out of it.

Sadly, despite my low standards, I am still disappointed more often than not. Manhattan Love Story, for instance, just pissed me off. I’ve read worse, but that’s the only positive thing I’m prepared to say about it. Well, that, and I like the cover design. That’s what suckered me into this mess in the first place. Too bad I ordered in from Amazon and couldn’t turn it over to see the illustration on the back.

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That would have sobered me right up. I intensely dislike gay stories in which one of the pretty boys looks and acts like a girl. The whole point of reading romance stories about men is that they’re about men. In the first story, the main character, Diamond, is having a discreet affair with his boss, Rock. I kid you not. Diamond and Rock. That could probably be funny, under other circumstances, but trust me when I tell you that these are not them. Diamond is a tiny, timid, uncertain little florist with ridiculous amounts of hair. Rock is a hugely successful captain of industry who appears regularly in magazines and, for reasons that are unclear to me, his important business ventures include the little flower shop where Diamond works. I could overlook all of this, I think, if a) there were anything to the story, and b) if Diamond didn’t look and act like a big bundle of annoying feminine stereotypes. He’s flushed, he’s flustered, he has some bizarre physical condition that causes him to become very ill if he works too hard. To which I roll my eyes and mutter profanity. Perhaps his condition is caused by the strain of growing all that hair.

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There are a couple of other stories in this book, and poofy-haired, overly feminine uke syndrome does turn up again. (Uke = bottom; in yaoi, the bottom is often drawn smaller than the top, or seme.) In one particularly creepy instance, the syndrome manifests in the form of an angelic little cherub, who is named Raphael, for Christ’s sake, and also has too much hair and is drawn to look about 7 but is said to be 13 or so (I don’t remember, and I refuse to look it up).

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Raphael sees his teacher having sex with one of his fellow students, and later, the teacher confesses his love for Raphael. To clarify, this is presented as cause for celebration rather than a call to the Department of Children and Family Services. This kind of thing is not unheard of in yaoi, but it’s a couple of bridges too far for me. There are other problems, too, but I’ve had enough. No mas. Let us never speak of this manga again.

God of Dogs is a disaster, but not a fluffy, weepy, eighth-grade-idea-of-romance disaster. A completely different kind of cock-up, as it were. I blame the cover for this one, too, but not just the cover. The description, which promised brutal Chinese mafia action and a mysterious stranger, pushed some buttons for me. Nice art, favored kink – as the big man said, two out of three? Ain’t bad. I thought I couldn’t loose.

The art is in fact pretty good. That isn’t always a given – the cover art is not necessarily representative of what’s inside the book. In this case, there’s no subtlety to the lines, and the faces look overly Neanderthal (I realize they’re supposed to be gangsters, but geez). But overall, it’s fine. I can appreciate the aesthetic beauty of the pretty boys, tough as they are. And as a bonus, there’s a body dissolving in lye or something in a bathtub, which is always a pleasant surprise.

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You’re sensing a “but” in here somewhere, aren’t you? To paraphrase a personal hero of mine, “Everybody I know has a big but. What’s yours?” (That’s from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. It’s a classic.) Well, yes. The manga looks pretty good, and it’s about gangsters, BUT it doesn’t make any damned sense. There is sort of a plot, and yes, you can pick out some of the salient points thereof, but my brow was furrowed in the WTF position pretty much the whole time I read this book. Maybe I was trying to think too much about the details, but God of Dogs felt like a three-hour movie cut down to 90 minutes, and like maybe they went too deep and excised a certain amount of connective tissue along with extraneous dog reaction shots.

The back cover says:

“The notoriously vicious Chinese Mafia has lost its next rightful heir… to sudden suicide! Now, the esteemed “God of Dogs” Tsai family must race against the ticking clock and hunt down the child of the deceased eldest son in order to preserve their ancient, sacred legacy. Meanwhile, the mysterious Archer has been convicted of killing his father and is on his way to jail. What will fate reveal for the powerful Tsai clan’s criminal dynasty AND this strange young man?”

Your guess is as good as mine.

Next! Romantic Illusions is a cheerful screwball comedy-ish title that explores the humorous and, yes, romantic possibilities inherent in multiple personality disorder. How could you go wrong with that? Right? Yu, the main personality, is a mild-mannered florist. (There were florists in the first book, too. What’s the deal with all the florists?) His other two personalities are a rockin’ tattooed playboy and a brilliant young lawyer (who has brown hair, when the other two are blond, which is a pretty impressive trick, when you think about it). (The less dominant personality is drawn shorter in some panels, as well, which I also found disconcerting.) Yu created the other two personalities so someone would love him, and yes, Hiiro does, er, touch on the possibilities for, um, physical humor inherent in this situation. Not very well, but at least she reaches for it. (Ahem.)

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Ultimately, each of the personalities ends up with a boyfriend of his own, one of them another person with multiple personality disorder. That should be pretty good – funny, sweet, kinky, perhaps slightly disturbing, but potentially in a good way – but it isn’t. It just kind of falls short. How is that even possible? I don’t know.

Which leads us nicely into Love Knot, which is made of meh. The art doesn’t thrill me, but it isn’t bad enough to actively annoy me, either. The story sounded like a good bet – Keigo, a detective by day/assassin by night (and I do love me an undercover assassin), takes in overly effeminate, on-the-run psychic Emiya and discovers that Emiya had been held against his will as part of a secret government project. Keigo falls in love with Emiya and vows to protect him always. Complications ensue, but they wind up in a happily-ever-after situation that includes Keigo discovering that Emiya’s long-lost mother is dead, yes, but always loved him. Aw.

There’s a little bit of heat between Keigo and Emiya, so I was moderately happy with that. And there’s a hint of darkness due to the assassin and repressive secret government project angles, but it isn’t played out, so no payoff there. I put the book down and said, “Well. That was deeply mediocre.” In retrospect, it was probably sub-mediocre.

I blame myself, really. It’s not like I didn’t have adequate warning. Upon reflection, I remember that Momoko Tenzen also wrote Paradise on the Hill. Oh, yeah. I didn’t like that, either. Satoru Ishihara wrote Dost Thou Know? and Hiroko Ishimaru wrote Total Surrender. Nope, didn’t like those, either. Too bad I can’t reliably access my vast database of disappointing manga. It all blurs together. (I wasn’t familiar with Reiichi Hiiro, so I’m giving myself a pass on that one.) I have to admit that I’m a bit worried about what I’m going to read next. Because this has just been disheartening. Still and all, you have to get right back up on the horse that threw you, right? Take the huge, towering stack of unread manga by the horns and all that. Or maybe I should reread a classic, just to restore my faith in manporn.