It is well understood that celebrities are seen as a species far beyond human. They are glorified and criticized constantly for what they say or don’t say, wear or eat way more than any person should. And because of that scrutiny, many celebs feel the heavy burden of the limelight’s obsession with perfection, and they simply crash and burn. Lindsay Lohan may be one of the best people to understand this.

“I don’t think I realized that the cost of fame is that it’s open season on every moment of your life.” A quote from Julia Roberts popped onto the screen as Lindsay Lohan’s The Price of Fame first loaded. Another quote by Vicki Baum compared success to the North Pole, a solitary, frozen place. Below the quotes is a cartoon Lindsay Lohan, smiling.

This game is not made to define fame as glamorous fabulousness like Kim Kardashian’s hit, Kim Kardashian’s Hollywood. This game, I suspected, would be the antithesis of Kim’s naive look into the daunting task of being a celebrity, and who else but Lindsay to prove this! I was excited to see how Lindsay, someone who has struggled with life in the public eye, would take on the troubles of being famous in a mobile game.

Unfortunately, the seriousness I expected ended at the sobering introduction quotes. The Price of Fame tries to use parody and humor to make its point, and it effects didn’t make me feel anything.

The freemium app is equivalent to Cookie Clicker, a type of idle game where players keep clicking an item to gain more points. In this case, it’s swiping the screen instead of clicking, and earning followers instead of cookies. Fans are treated by the game as currency, so the more fans earned the easier it is to upgrade items to earn more fans to upgrade items to earn more fans, and so on.

In some ways, this mechanic could be used to demonstrate how and why celebrities do ridiculous things in order to garner more attention. The game even makes fun of real pop culture events, like Janet Jackson’s Superbowl Halftime nip slip or selling baby photos. On the other hand, it’s hard to feel as if anything I do as a player in the game has any sort of weight or repercussion. Janet had to post a video apology, her record sales with down due to outrage. It was controversial and outrageous, especially considering Justin Timberlake did not nearly face as much backlash as Janet did. But If I click to have a “wardrobe malfunction” in The Price of Fame, I win over more fans. That’s it. There is no true price of fame, just swiping.

The idle game genre does not do much to make any actions feel significant. There are upgrades that earn fans without ever swiping, and perks that help gain fans even when the game is closed, so eventually the game runs itself. At that point, I no longer need to care about the game.

This is not how I imagine fame to be. If living in the spotlight leaves me emotionally and physically unscathed, why would Julia Roberts be condemning it; why would Vicki Baum comparing it to the chilly North Pole? Why would Lindsay Lohan be slowly working to bring her life back around because of it?

In fact, other than the title, the game lacks any indication that it is, in fact, Lindsay’s game. While it works so hard to poke fun at other celebrities, the game rarely mentions Lindsay herself. It is possible to have “Not Nice Girls” be a part of an entourage, but that’s the largest reference to any part of Lindsay’s career. There is no mention of mug shots, DUI’s or rehab. Lindsay herself shows up spontaneously as a fan, and quickly disappears with a swipe of the finger.

Though, maybe this is what Lohan wanted. She first appears to be a consultant on how to play the game, explaining what upgrades do and how to customize characters, and then she immediately becomes a fan. She no longer has to succumb to peer pressure of a celebrity life. She is watching you struggle, much like others watched her struggle in reality.

Except here is no struggle. The price of fame means nothing when it’s impossible to feel any sort of backlash. While it tries to teach a lesson about the pressures of being a celebrity, the game lacks enough seriousness to make anyone question any danger. Lindsay Lohan’s The Price of Fame does too much for laughs, too little for thought.