Music For Middle-Brow Snobs: Virgins Are Buried Wearing a Wedding Dress

Doom metal, black metal, a little death metal, and some tuba metal.

I don’t know what the Japanese is. Maybe Bill can help? (Don’t know that he reads these posts, but it’s worth a shot.)

1. Dwarr — Lonely Space Traveler (Animals)
2. The Skaden —?????????? (You’ll Hope I Died)
3. Eikenskaden —Virgins Are Buried Wearing a Wedding Dress (665.999)
4. Thergothon — Elemental (Stream From the Heavens)
5. Ludicra — Time Wounds All Heels (Another Great Love Song)
6. Ludicra — Clean White Void (The Tenant)
7. Acrostichon — Engraved in Black (Engraved in Black)
8. 1349 — Uncreation (Revelations of the Black Flame)
9. 1349 — Nathicana (Hellfire)
10. Arriver — The Darkest Corner of the Continent (Simon Mann EP)
11. Bellows — Haunt (Bellows)

Download Virgins Are Buried Wearing a Wedding Dress.

Copyright for Middle Brow Snobs (Or, Worst. Mashup. Ever.)

I’ve been a little obsessed with mashups recently, so I thought in honor of our free culture roundtable, I’d try making one of my own. Of course:

— I can’t beat match,

—my only software is Garage Band

—which I don’t know how to use,

— I’m a Paid Music Critic

— which means I have the musical eptitude of a lightly lobotomized bag of hammers.

These factors might deter others…but hell, Nina Paley’s got me all gung ho on niche markets, so I figure somewhere out there there’s a vital fanbase that wants to hear Beyonce incompetently combined with Australian female doom metal. No doubt there are LiveJournal groups and message boards and lord knows what else, right?

Right?

In any case, without further ado, here is Single Plague, in which Beyonce battles Murkrat, with a brief cameo by the Carter Family. Download it and weep.

For a discussion of real mashups and a list of some of the best, try this list and discussion by Alan Benard.

Music For Middle-Brow Snobs: Cautions for the Girl

I’ve been somewhat obsessed with mashups recentl, especially DJ Lobsterdust, who is pretty great. So there’s some of that, and Thai music and other things….

1. Yvonne Fair — Love Ain’t No Toy (The Bitch Is Black)
2. DJ Lobsterdust — Always Single (Beyonce vs. Lenny Kravitz)
3. King of Pain — Badd to Me (The Cure vs. the Ying-Yang Twins)
4. Trevor Dandy — Is There Any Love (Good God! A Gospel Funk Hymnal)
5. Madline Bell — I’m Gonna Make You Love Me (Soulful Divas vol. 1)
6. Salak Siathong — Suang Nang (Cautions for the Girl) (Siamese Soul)
7. Siriporn Umpaipong — Sao Electone (Jumbo Hit)
8. The Alan Parsons Project — One Good Reason (Ammonia Avenue)
9. J.-P.M & Co. — Baby Topless (Jean-Pierre Massiera – Psychoses Discoïd)
10. Lenlow — Orinoco Bitch (Enya vs. The Prodigy)
11. Sugarcubes — Deus (Remix) (LIfe’s Too Good)
12. Wilhelm Kempf — Beethoven Piano Sonata #31 in A. Flat, Op. 110 – 1. (Late Piano Sonatas)
13. DJ Lobsterdust — Baby Arrow (Marvin Gaye and Mary Wells vs. The Album Leaf vs. The Carpenters)
14. The Country Gentlemen — The Fields Have Turned Brown (Folk Songs and Bluegrass)
15. Johnny Cash — Redemption Day (Ain’t No Grave)
16. Johnny Cash — Sam Hall (The Man Comes Around)

Download: Cautions for the Girl.

Music For Middle-Brow Snobs: Wilhelm and Claudio

A couple of Beethoven sonatas and random other things. I am excessively into the Alan Parsons Project and Priestess. I love prog.

1. Wilhelm Kempff — Beethoven Sonata #27 in E Minor, Op. 90 (Late Piano Sonatas)
2. Siriporn Umpaipong — Lakorn Chewit (Jumbo Hit)
3. Sade — Be That Easy (Soldier of Love)
4. Lady Gaga — Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I can Say) (The Fame Monster)
5. Martyn (featuring the Spaceape) — Is This Insanity? (Great Lengths)
6. Alan Parsons Project — The Voice (I Robot)
7. Priestess — The Firebird (Prior to the Fire)
8. Necro Deathmort — I Fought the Law and the Law Won Because Fighting Is Against the Law (The Beat Is Necrotronic)
9. The Skaden — A Peaceful Moment (You’ll Hope I Died)
10. Liz Carroll and John Doyle — The Island of Woods
11. 1349 — To Rottendom (In Play)
12. Claudio Arrau — Piano Sonata No 32 in C. Minor, Op. 111

Download Wilhelm and Claudio.

Music for Middle-Brow Snobs: I’m a Plague

This is a women-in-extreme-metal playlist. I believe Dickless, Gallhammer, Doughnuts, Astarte, and Murkrat are all-female bands; The Witches may have a guy on drums; the rest have one or two women (mostly keyboards and vocals, I think.)

Gallhammer is Japanese; Doughnuts are Swedish; Astarte is Greek; The Witches are French; Gehenna is I believe Norwegian; Murkrat is Australian. The rest are from the U.S., I’m pretty sure.

1. Dickless — I’m a Man (I’m a Man EP)
2. Dickless — Saddle Tramp (I’m a Man EP)
3. Gallhammer — Blind My Eyes (Ill Innocence)
4. Doughnuts — Impure (The Age of the Circle)
5. Astarte — Satisfaction of the Dead (Dancing in the Dark Seas of Evil)
6. Astarte — Deviate (Sirens)
7. The Witches — Black Sorcerer (Awakening: Females in Extreme Music)
8. Acrostichon — Pain (Awakening: Females in Extreme Music)
9. Thor’s Hammer — …in our Hands Alone (May the Hammer Split the Cross)
10. Gehenna — Unearthly Loose Palace (First Spell)
11. Noothgrush — Sysyphus Narrow Way (Erode the Person)
12. Murkrat — Plague Gestation (Murkrat)
13. Ludicra — Collapse (Fex Urbis Lex Orbis)

Download I’m a Plague.

Music For Middle-Brow Snobs: Bleeps From Outer Space

1. Ros Sereysothea — Shave Your Beard (Electric Cambodia)
2. Arareeya Bussaba — Katah Kor Jai (Katah Kor Jai)
3. Ouijai DanEsan — Yai Chim (Pua Pee Der Nong)
4. Johnny Cash — W-O-M-A-N (Rockabilly Blues)
5. Gospel Writers —Same Man (Fire In My Bones)
6. Rev. John Wilkins —Let the Redeemed Say So (Fire In My Bones)
7. Boyd Rivers — Fire Shed In My bones (Fire In My Bones)
8. Betty Davis — 70s Blues (They Say I’m Different)
9. Lady Gaga — Teeth (Fame Monster)
10. Quarta 330 —Bleeps From outer Space (5: Five Years of Hyperdub)
11. Ikonika — Please (5: Five Years of Hyperdub)
12. A Sunny Day in Glasgow — Miss My Friends (Ashes Grammar)
13. A Sunny Day in Glasgow —Starting at a Disadvantage (Ashes Grammar)
14. Rotary Connection — A-Muse (Black Gold)
15. Lee Ann Womack — Painless (There’s More Where That Came From)

Download Bleeps From Outer Space.

Music for Middle-Brow Snobs: Proto-DOOM

Mostly early doom metal with maybe a ringer or two.

1. Dirty Rotten Imbeciles— No Sense (Dirty Rotten LP)
2. Iron Maiden — Hallowed Be Thy Name (The Number of the Beast)
3. Pentagram — Starlady (First Daze Here)
4. Witchfinder General— Death Penalty (Death Penalty)
5. Uriah Heep — Time to Live (Salisbury)
6. Clear Blue Sky — Veil of the Vixen (Downer-Rock Genocide)
7. Saint Vitus — The End of the End (Born Too Late)
8. Black Sabbath — Into the Void (Master of Reality)
9. The Trouble — Revelation (Life or Death) (Psalm 9)
10. Candlemass — Mourner’s Lament (Nightfall)

Download proto-DOOM.